This is meant to be an act of redemption, or perhaps salvation. When I gave birth to my first child, I was stunned at the range and depth of my emotion. I wanted to write a column so I could capture it all. I did write, and even publish, some essays in parenting magazines. In fact, my very first publication came shortly after the birth of my third child -- an essay in Sesame Street Magazine Parents' Guide.
But somehow, given the little scraps of time I had, I didn't get it together. I wasn't one of these moms who could write a thoughtful essay at the kitchen table while confusion swirled around her. As those precious years passed, I decided I'd redeem myself by writing a column about a life with teenagers -- because life was still pretty darned precious and funny and touching -- and while there were plenty of writings about little kids, I saw nothing about teens. And I knew others must be wondering the same things I was, like... Is it really true that everyone else's parents said "yes"?
But somehow those attempts didn't make it past my computer desktop. And then there was pain in the marriage, followed by divorce and the empty nest, all of it colliding on my 50th birthday. And I made my way to a new city and a job and a life alone, and I worried that it was too late. But it has never stopped nagging at me, this drive to document those days that began 25 years and 9 months ago.
Now there is blogging, which somehow makes the words seem "real," so much more than what's typed and sits in my manila files. So here we go....
